Hello Again, Maybe (Or, WTF Hockey!)

I realize it has been a long time since I posted anything. In fact, it has been a long time since I've written anything. I haven't used a journal, my blog, or any other medium for writing in so long that I was beginning to think maybe I've forgotten how to write. But the thing is, you can't forget how to write unless you forget how to form sentences and use words and stuffs. And then if we want to be really honest, it's not that I have forgotten how to use sentences to speak thoughts, it's that I have been writing in 140 characters at a time and lost the need to post these long and random paragraphs to regurgitate all the excess blurbs that are in my brain.
So here I am, encouraging myself to write something. Maybe this writing will lead to more writing and then in time, maybe I'll even be able to be my old creative self again.
I just wrote this whole paragraph and then deleted it.
So I guess this will take time. Or I'll just keep deleting stuff. I do that a lot. How am I going to write anything if I keep deleting it?

So while I'm here, my most recent bouts of anger are toward the NHL, the NHLPA, and sad to say, the Vancouver Canucks.
I love the Canucks. I used to live and breathe the Canucks. I have an Ice Pak, I humiliate myself for my Uncle's club tickets, I agree to go with anyone who asks me even though I have an Ice Pak and get free clubs. I once saw Trevor Linden on the street and I shamefully ran out and asked for a picture, shaking the entire time I was in His presence. My friend was once neighbors with Kirk McLean and I kept hoping to catch him in the elevator (I didn't, but we got a picture with him at a game once when he was doing a signing. Swoon.
And then the Lockout of 12-13 happened. This wasn't supposed to happen. After the last Lockout and with more money and new fans to lose than ever before (and it seems a lot of old fans too), one would think that this is the Lockout that they would have worked their asses off to prevent. But no, there were no proposals, meetings, or negotiations prior to the season starting. There was silence. And then the season got closer and the proposals started going out. And they were preposterous. Both sides asking for things that they must have known they weren't going to get. Both sides trying to get bigger slices of the revenue pie. There was a lot more to this CBA than money. I know that they will say that there were other things in the bargaining process that weren't necessarily monetary. But the biggest issues were about the money.
On both sides are people who make more money in a month than I may ever see in my lifetime.
They had the nerve to try to appeal to the fans to try to make the other side the bad guy. But you know, it didn't matter. It didn't matter to me who the real bad guys were. In my eyes, it's about ME. I'm the fan that has been faithfully following my team through ups and downs and 300 goalies come and gone to the goalie graveyard because of all the loser "fans" who quickly turn on the goaltender when the whole team loses playoff series together. I'm the fan that has spent so much of what little money I make to go to the games in my Ice Pak, to bring my friends when the rest of my Ice Pak isn't in town, to buy food and drinks and snacks at the overpriced concession, and buy merchandise, SO MUCH MERCHANDISE from the Team Store. ME.
So now that hockey is back and all are rejoicing, I can't help but feel bitter still. Of course I'm not giving up my Ice Pak, that would be silly. But I didn't wait months and months for a resolution just to go to a game that I had to pay for and watch my team get destroyed because they weren't as conditioned as the opponents. And I don't feel like your $1 concession items or 50% off merchandise are things that benefit me. These are things that benefit the owners, the people who make the money off the purchases. I mean, think about it. How much does it cost for soft drink that comes from syrup + soda water? Not a whole lot since Costco sells a hot dog and pop for $1.50. So $2 for the same thing in the arena is outrageous. And now that the homestand is over, it'll probably cost $10 for a hot dog and pop. Just think about the mark up and how much the owners are profiting.
I went to all 3 opening homestand games and all I got for free was the crappy scarf everyone got at game 1. But I don't care about this scarf. I want a free game or a free jersey. This random picking of people to give things away too, and I haven't been one of them. We have 4 seats in our Pak, I want 4 free jerseys. Signed. WITH LOVE. Or 4 free tickets. In killer seats. Or a meet and greet with our favorite players, the Sedins and Kesler.
But I know these things will never happen because at the end of the day, no matter what they're giving away, I will not be chosen as a recipient. Except maybe by pure chance, and that would be okay, but it isn't the same as the organization saying hey loyal season ticket holders who are not corporations, loyal Ice Pak owners who are real people, we appreciate you. And we're sorry that we fought over your hard-earned-and-given-up-to-us money. And considering how much they've been giving away to random people on the street and at the games, why would that have been so hard?

there's always next year

another nhl season has ended. i don't even think i care who the final 4 are at this point because the only thing that matters is that the canucks are not there. the city has gone from being canucks crazed to .. well, not. during the post-season, i saw people walking around in their jerseys and t-shirts, their flags waving on their cars. literally the next day, there was not a hint of blue and green to be seen anywhere. it's funny to me how fast these "fans" just turn it off. one day they claim to be in love, and the next they've moved on like it never happened. kind of like me and all the boys i've dated. except that by acknowledging that fact, i guess i've also acknowledged that it happened. but still, i'm in denial. stop interrupting.
as a fan that is still in love, i am sad. i didn't want to talk about it, but i've been forced to have conversations about what they could have done better, what changes need to be made, and who won't be coming back next year. i am not going to repeat any of those things here. i'm not an analyst. i don't know hockey the way some people (named arnold) know hockey. i can't recite stats, i don't know who screwed up the most (maybe i do. yeah, i'm talking about you kevin bieksuck), and i don't know what luongo needs to do to play like gold medal roberto luongo. but those things don't matter. what matters is that theses guys will shake it off. they'll go and have their off-season with their families (or at the roxy. yeah, i'm talking about you OB) and come back and start over next season. and i'll be there. i'll be ready. and i'll be cheering for them.

i think i smell bad

i like long weekends. since thursday after work, i have watched 2 canucks games, finished 2 books, watched 5 movies, and spent 24 hours in my pyjamas. before the weekend is over, i will watch another canucks game (live yay!) and eat excellent food. why don't we have long weekends more often? oh right, because the government sucks.

if i could, i would stay in bed for a little bit longer, but alas, it's almost 2pm and i have to get up now. yes, that's right, 2pm. i like sundays.

here are my reviews for this weekend:

Hot Tub Time Machine = AWESOME!! i love the 80s, John Cusack, and sci fi so this movie pretty much rules.

Chloe = Pretty Damn Good. If you're into movies that are creepy with hot crazy chicks, this is a movie for you. I figured it out early on, but still totally enjoyed it.

The Host = from the author of Twilight, i sat down to read this saturday afternoon and finished a few hours later because i had nothing else to do. it was really good. i wish there were more because i really liked the characters and the relationships they developed and i'm used to reading serials so the things i like can go on and on.

Bonus Section: for all you vampire/werewolf lovers out there, Laurell K Hamilton is the BEST EVER! i am addicted to her Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter series!! i am currently waiting for Skin Trade to come out on paperback, but i've read everything in this series from book 1. SO AWESOME!! and there are a bunch of her fans out there who hate that about 10 books into it she turned it into literary porn, but i don't really care. i love that anita blake just goes on to fight another day. and if you can get through the sex, the stories are still great.

okay i better get up now.

a letter

dear ryan kesler,

i don't care if you hate canadians, or vancouver fans, or french people. i don't even care if you hate me. but i want you to know that when you say you hate people, there are people out there who get mad. i wasn't one of those people. i stayed true. i wore my kesler jersey to your first game back in vancouver instead of my lu one. i defended you to all my friends who told me that they now hate you because you hate them. i think you're fantastic and you play great hockey. i think your wife is pretty and your daughter is really cute.

but my point ryan kesler, is that not all of the fans in this city are like the fans you hate. there are fans like me out there. fans who stick by you no matter what. fans who love the team no matter where they are in the standings (with the exception of bieksuck - can you please ask him to stop pinching?). fans who are not suits, who spend hard-earned money to go see you guys play, even when times are tough. hate on everyone you want ryan kesler, but not all of the fans out here are sucky fans. i just wanted you to know that.

your fan,
h