even though i'm not sure how you could spoil something that is utterly predictable.
so i went to watch this movie because it was for freeeeee! and i love free. and it starts with a bunch of white people with british accents wearing heavy eyeliner. because the eyeliner makes white people look persian.
i'd like to take this opportunity to clarify that i am not a racist jerk. i hate everyone equally.
anyway, i have known people of persian descent. and their accents are not british. i'm pretty sure their accents weren't british back in the time this movie was supposed to take place either. i'm also pretty certain that none of them look like white people with eyeliner. white people with eyeliner look like that bitch little j on gossip girl.
i also think princess what's her face from the bond movie and jake g had zero chemistry. every time they stopped to stare into each other's eyes and risk their lives instead of saving the world, i wanted to scream. i didn't feel it. at. all. plus she was annoying.
and what was up with that? you have to save the world from evil and crazy bad guys are chasing you. so that seems like the perfect time to stop and almost kiss because..???
the best part of this movie is jake g's parkour skills. and most of the time, i think it was a stunt double anyway. but it's cool. and the ostrich guy is hilarious.
that is all. go watch it, you'll like it.
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