I Don't Want To Get Up Today

so i'm writing this in bed. because i haven't gotten up yet. because i don't want to. because bed is nice. and because i got in late last night (early this morning). because my friends are idiots. because they drink. and that's what happens when people drink!

last night we went out because it was the very last night for a club that we have been going to for years. before this, there was only one other club closing that was sad. this is a place where we made so many memories, witnessed so many crazy happenstances, consumed so much alcohol, and had such great times! for anyone who cares (b/c 2 whole people read this...) i was totally sober all night!! and i'm not angry about it. this weekend i was out friday and saturday (so rare) and both nights, i wasn't even worried about succumbing to the temptations of boozing, even on the very last night of a club where all we used to do was drink! i was so good! i'm very proud of myself. i have been sober for 76 days. that is a big deal to me.

but having said that, there has to be a but because i'm ornery like that. had it been just the guys, it would've been fine, but m decided to come out and she's nice and everything, but really - holy downer batman! she didn't even give it a chance. from the beginning she was resolved to be bored and miserable or something. and that's just what i need - somebody asking me over and over and over (and over) how can i have fun sober? i don't know how you do it - how do you do it? and like really, it's called a positive attitude sweetheart. maybe if you shut your piehole long enough to absorb the good times that everyone else is trying to have and make a small attempt at it yourself you wouldn't be so lame! i know that it's cheesy, but really, as long as i have a good outlook, things usually do work out. i woke up friday and thought to myself - TODAY IS A GREAT DAY! and all day long, i told everyone that. and it worked, because i put everyone else in the same awesome mood i was in and we all had great days! and yesterday i wasn't thinking about having a great day, but once we decided to go out, i was resolved to have a good time. because i don't have to drink when i go out to have a good time. i can be sober. and sober can be fun. there are soooo many people to make fun of and red bull gives me energy and you never know who you might run into (of course i ran into the most drunk and degenerate of all people i know in this city go figure). and dancing is the only form of exercise i ever partake in willingly so i'm sure that's a bonus somehow. i've totally lost the point of this paragraph so moving on now.

go figure on a crazy sober night i run into the most drunk and degenerate of all people i know in vancouver. i know i said that already, but this was a guy that i met back in university. and during those days no lie, i made exactly 3 friends. in all the years i went to school at ubc, i made 3 whole friends. 1 i have lost complete contact with. 2 is on fb, but we don't really talk or anything. and 3 is my random run-in friend now as i live the sober lifestyle and he is drunk all the time. maybe he's not, i don't know. lol. it started with a group project i think. or maybe it started because he sat next to me or near me every class because he thought i was cute. but he ended up being in my group. and we each thought the other would be smart enough to carry the project but we ended up hating the stupid long peom we were reading and luckily had enough charisma between us to fake it. we actually did really well. but what we found out from that group project was that we both really really liked to drink. and so began lunches at the pub and drinks between classes. i know, very sad, but that's how we became friends. now years later, he's drunkenly spitting that i'm money and just made it an awesome night and how can i be sober when we can have so much fun drinking? but then again sober i can probably tell what people really look like and be so amused by it all. and he never asked me to drink with him or pressured me to crack. in fact, at the end of it all, he said that he will look to me for inspiration now because i'm an example of people who have fun sober lol. look at that, i went from once being a drunken degenerate myself to being a positive influence on someone else. CRAZY!

i always tell myself that some days will be better than others, but i think this weekend was a turning point. i wasn't angry about not drinking at all. i was angry at some point when i was trying to go home and it was 3am and my idiot friends were being drunken idiots who didn't want to get into the car, but you know, that was just me grumpy. and i did not think a drink would make me feel better. i'm definitely making progress and i think i'm getting close to the point where i have more good days than bad. hooray!!