I recently had dinner with a girlfriend, and she has been writing again. I'm really happy for her. I'm also insanely jealous. I want to be writing every day. I wish I had something worth writing about every day. She has focus and a goal though; ultimately she wants her writings to be a book. I have no such aspirations. I just want to write. I want to be able to write about a kid named Dumpling or rant about inconsiderate strangers. I used to write about boys, but ever since I stopped dating, I've had no new stories. I also am kind of glad for that because some of those boys were f**king crazy. If I kept on that path, I may not be here today to write about my survival.
I want to go on adventures and write about them. Why didn't I journal my trip to Bali? It was such an amazing experience. And yes, I remember it all in my head, but someday maybe I'll forget little things and then I could have read about them.
Or what if I start to lose my marbles? What if I need my future life companion to read me journals of our life together and that time we met at a carnival and then after overcoming obstacles like my parents disapproving of our love and my having almost married Lon, and then choosing him instead and some kissing in the rain?
Journals are good. They're therapeutic. Maybe I ought to get one.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Hello Again, Maybe (Or, WTF Hockey!)
I realize it has been a long time since I posted anything. In fact, it has been a long time since I've written anything. I haven't used a journal, my blog, or any other medium for writing in so long that I was beginning to think maybe I've forgotten how to write. But the thing is, you can't forget how to write unless you forget how to form sentences and use words and stuffs. And then if we want to be really honest, it's not that I have forgotten how to use sentences to speak thoughts, it's that I have been writing in 140 characters at a time and lost the need to post these long and random paragraphs to regurgitate all the excess blurbs that are in my brain.
So here I am, encouraging myself to write something. Maybe this writing will lead to more writing and then in time, maybe I'll even be able to be my old creative self again.
I just wrote this whole paragraph and then deleted it.
So I guess this will take time. Or I'll just keep deleting stuff. I do that a lot. How am I going to write anything if I keep deleting it?
So while I'm here, my most recent bouts of anger are toward the NHL, the NHLPA, and sad to say, the Vancouver Canucks.
I love the Canucks. I used to live and breathe the Canucks. I have an Ice Pak, I humiliate myself for my Uncle's club tickets, I agree to go with anyone who asks me even though I have an Ice Pak and get free clubs. I once saw Trevor Linden on the street and I shamefully ran out and asked for a picture, shaking the entire time I was in His presence. My friend was once neighbors with Kirk McLean and I kept hoping to catch him in the elevator (I didn't, but we got a picture with him at a game once when he was doing a signing. Swoon.
And then the Lockout of 12-13 happened. This wasn't supposed to happen. After the last Lockout and with more money and new fans to lose than ever before (and it seems a lot of old fans too), one would think that this is the Lockout that they would have worked their asses off to prevent. But no, there were no proposals, meetings, or negotiations prior to the season starting. There was silence. And then the season got closer and the proposals started going out. And they were preposterous. Both sides asking for things that they must have known they weren't going to get. Both sides trying to get bigger slices of the revenue pie. There was a lot more to this CBA than money. I know that they will say that there were other things in the bargaining process that weren't necessarily monetary. But the biggest issues were about the money.
On both sides are people who make more money in a month than I may ever see in my lifetime.
They had the nerve to try to appeal to the fans to try to make the other side the bad guy. But you know, it didn't matter. It didn't matter to me who the real bad guys were. In my eyes, it's about ME. I'm the fan that has been faithfully following my team through ups and downs and 300 goalies come and gone to the goalie graveyard because of all the loser "fans" who quickly turn on the goaltender when the whole team loses playoff series together. I'm the fan that has spent so much of what little money I make to go to the games in my Ice Pak, to bring my friends when the rest of my Ice Pak isn't in town, to buy food and drinks and snacks at the overpriced concession, and buy merchandise, SO MUCH MERCHANDISE from the Team Store. ME.
So now that hockey is back and all are rejoicing, I can't help but feel bitter still. Of course I'm not giving up my Ice Pak, that would be silly. But I didn't wait months and months for a resolution just to go to a game that I had to pay for and watch my team get destroyed because they weren't as conditioned as the opponents. And I don't feel like your $1 concession items or 50% off merchandise are things that benefit me. These are things that benefit the owners, the people who make the money off the purchases. I mean, think about it. How much does it cost for soft drink that comes from syrup + soda water? Not a whole lot since Costco sells a hot dog and pop for $1.50. So $2 for the same thing in the arena is outrageous. And now that the homestand is over, it'll probably cost $10 for a hot dog and pop. Just think about the mark up and how much the owners are profiting.
I went to all 3 opening homestand games and all I got for free was the crappy scarf everyone got at game 1. But I don't care about this scarf. I want a free game or a free jersey. This random picking of people to give things away too, and I haven't been one of them. We have 4 seats in our Pak, I want 4 free jerseys. Signed. WITH LOVE. Or 4 free tickets. In killer seats. Or a meet and greet with our favorite players, the Sedins and Kesler.
But I know these things will never happen because at the end of the day, no matter what they're giving away, I will not be chosen as a recipient. Except maybe by pure chance, and that would be okay, but it isn't the same as the organization saying hey loyal season ticket holders who are not corporations, loyal Ice Pak owners who are real people, we appreciate you. And we're sorry that we fought over your hard-earned-and-given-up-to-us money. And considering how much they've been giving away to random people on the street and at the games, why would that have been so hard?
So here I am, encouraging myself to write something. Maybe this writing will lead to more writing and then in time, maybe I'll even be able to be my old creative self again.
I just wrote this whole paragraph and then deleted it.
So I guess this will take time. Or I'll just keep deleting stuff. I do that a lot. How am I going to write anything if I keep deleting it?
So while I'm here, my most recent bouts of anger are toward the NHL, the NHLPA, and sad to say, the Vancouver Canucks.
I love the Canucks. I used to live and breathe the Canucks. I have an Ice Pak, I humiliate myself for my Uncle's club tickets, I agree to go with anyone who asks me even though I have an Ice Pak and get free clubs. I once saw Trevor Linden on the street and I shamefully ran out and asked for a picture, shaking the entire time I was in His presence. My friend was once neighbors with Kirk McLean and I kept hoping to catch him in the elevator (I didn't, but we got a picture with him at a game once when he was doing a signing. Swoon.
And then the Lockout of 12-13 happened. This wasn't supposed to happen. After the last Lockout and with more money and new fans to lose than ever before (and it seems a lot of old fans too), one would think that this is the Lockout that they would have worked their asses off to prevent. But no, there were no proposals, meetings, or negotiations prior to the season starting. There was silence. And then the season got closer and the proposals started going out. And they were preposterous. Both sides asking for things that they must have known they weren't going to get. Both sides trying to get bigger slices of the revenue pie. There was a lot more to this CBA than money. I know that they will say that there were other things in the bargaining process that weren't necessarily monetary. But the biggest issues were about the money.
On both sides are people who make more money in a month than I may ever see in my lifetime.
They had the nerve to try to appeal to the fans to try to make the other side the bad guy. But you know, it didn't matter. It didn't matter to me who the real bad guys were. In my eyes, it's about ME. I'm the fan that has been faithfully following my team through ups and downs and 300 goalies come and gone to the goalie graveyard because of all the loser "fans" who quickly turn on the goaltender when the whole team loses playoff series together. I'm the fan that has spent so much of what little money I make to go to the games in my Ice Pak, to bring my friends when the rest of my Ice Pak isn't in town, to buy food and drinks and snacks at the overpriced concession, and buy merchandise, SO MUCH MERCHANDISE from the Team Store. ME.
So now that hockey is back and all are rejoicing, I can't help but feel bitter still. Of course I'm not giving up my Ice Pak, that would be silly. But I didn't wait months and months for a resolution just to go to a game that I had to pay for and watch my team get destroyed because they weren't as conditioned as the opponents. And I don't feel like your $1 concession items or 50% off merchandise are things that benefit me. These are things that benefit the owners, the people who make the money off the purchases. I mean, think about it. How much does it cost for soft drink that comes from syrup + soda water? Not a whole lot since Costco sells a hot dog and pop for $1.50. So $2 for the same thing in the arena is outrageous. And now that the homestand is over, it'll probably cost $10 for a hot dog and pop. Just think about the mark up and how much the owners are profiting.
I went to all 3 opening homestand games and all I got for free was the crappy scarf everyone got at game 1. But I don't care about this scarf. I want a free game or a free jersey. This random picking of people to give things away too, and I haven't been one of them. We have 4 seats in our Pak, I want 4 free jerseys. Signed. WITH LOVE. Or 4 free tickets. In killer seats. Or a meet and greet with our favorite players, the Sedins and Kesler.
But I know these things will never happen because at the end of the day, no matter what they're giving away, I will not be chosen as a recipient. Except maybe by pure chance, and that would be okay, but it isn't the same as the organization saying hey loyal season ticket holders who are not corporations, loyal Ice Pak owners who are real people, we appreciate you. And we're sorry that we fought over your hard-earned-and-given-up-to-us money. And considering how much they've been giving away to random people on the street and at the games, why would that have been so hard?
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