700

it doesn't feel like 700. it doesn't even feel like almost 2 years, which is coming up in 30 days. maybe because sometimes i have these dreams where i decide to drink and then i drink and drink and i wake up in a total panic because i thought i was weak and slipped and had a drink or ten. but then i realize that i'm awake now and it was just a dream. a dream that felt real.
some days it's become really easy to not pay attention to people if they're drinking around me and to not think about it. some days. other days i want to drink. and every once in awhile, i even think i want to have a rock star night where i just drink myself into oblivion. and this doesn't happen when i'm sad or having a rough day or anything. i have these cravings for no reason. i've always had these cravings for no good reason. except now that i don't give in to them, i'm a generally happier and healthier human being. and isn't that reason enough to not do it?
at 700 i'm feeling pretty good.