liars are stupid

i have a problem with dishonesty. to be fair, i will admit that i have told a white lie or two [or several], but i try not to anymore unless it is necessary. plus, i wouldn't do it if i thought it would cause harm, grief, or stress. because despite my ability to be completely ornery at times, i think that somewhere deep down, i am a nice person [most of the time].

in this instance however, it's not about me and what kind of person i am. it's about someone else - i mean, isn't it always? what good is having a blog if i don't use it to bitch about all the stupidity around me?

so somebody i know and tolerate has lied. this is someone that i liked as a person, even though at times her work ethic has been completely lacking questionable, i tried to like her and be friendly toward her. but since her attitude has been totally bitchy somewhat poor, i find it increasingly difficult to be able to contain myself. and while i don't think i've been lashing out, i do call her out on her crap. the thing is, it is completely deserved. i think in that position, it is hard to remain complacent for too long, and i understand that, however i don't think it gives one license to revert to juvenile behavior [ie throwing tantrums, stomping up and down stairs, throwing files/papers at peoples desks instead of putting them down in a docile-administrative-duty-manner]. but i think the worst part is that i've now caught this individual in a lie. not just one that affects me, but a few other people as well. i also see where it's coming from, but that doesn't justify it for me. i think that honesty would have garnered a better reaction.

i guess what irks me is that i am having trouble maintaining my composure, and that is one of the things i've become good at. i check my personal feelings at the door or vent them to only a limited number of people that i trust. now i'm finding myself making comments out loud and not being my usual chipper self. this person of course doesn't realize she has been caught in the lie, and definitely isn't aware that i've told people who need to know about it. i don't know what will happen now. i hope that changes are made though.

(1) Day of .. Something.

yesterday i had one of those days where you have to decide early on if you're going to laugh or to cry. for the most part, i like to choose laughing because crying is exhausting. so it was a frustrating day, but i got through it and last minute surprise - got free passes to see (500) Days of Summer, which i've been dying (not literally, what's wrong with you?) to see! i knew that it was going to be one of those indies that i would love. i can tell with some things that i'm going to love it, so i let my excitement build because i'm not worried about disappointment. and this did not disappoint. it was wonderful. and when i laughed, i laughed hard. i like movies that you don't think are going to make you laugh that much and then you do. i don't want to give too much away because i encourage all 3 of you to watch this movie (i'd say 4, but i know one of my followers already saw it haha!) yup, i felt really good when i walked out of the theatre. and i think i have a crush on 3rd Rock. holy when did he get so cute?

so i was feeling all good and stuff when i got home and then i didn't want to ruin it, so i decided that instead of watching some tv, i'd settle into the magic chair and read instead. i was almost finished The Time Traveler's Wife, and at that point where i had no desire to do anything but find out what happens at the end. again, i don't want to give too much away because i'm going to make one of my followers read this afterwards, but i had this feeling at the beginning of the book - not the very beginning but somewhere in the beginning there's this occurence. and i just knew at that point where the story was going. but it's not even about that. it's not about the actual ups or downs, it's about the love that exists between these 2 people. and i can say that i have these moments where i don't believe in love anymore, but it was one of those days where everything is working towards reminding you that maybe it's only fiction, but it could happen. and it does happen. and so i shouldn't stop believing, just because it's not happening to me. i sat in the magic chair for a little while after, thinking about the ending. and even though i had chosen a laughing day, i had a good cry anyway. it wasn't a bad cry though, just a release of all the feelings that i had for these characters. i know that sounds nuts, but i don't care. lol. clare and henry are like dear friends to me now. and then of course i was exhausted so i went to bed.

why am i here?

i just spent 30 minutes catching up on a blog that i forgot existed (thus the comments on several posts heehee), and now i'm sitting here looking at my own and wondering why i'm even here sitting in front of the computer right now. i could get really existential and wonder why i'm even here on earth and what is my purpose, but the truth is i'm just wondering why i'm not watching disc 2 of Freaks and Geeks (so wonderful - why do all the good shows die?) or reading more of The Time Traveler's Wife (didn't like the style of writing at first, but damn it's a good story). i have concluded that i am doing neither because i am here, staring at the monitor. also, i have this problem where as soon as i plant my butt when i get home, i unfornately get stuck. i mean, sure i will get up and get food, munchies, drinks, a hoodie, whatever - BUT i will come back to the spot. and today i blame you mike gillis for being the reason that i planted my butt in front of the computer because this is the last place i want to be after spending all day looking at my monitor at work. and you are there, wherever there is, staring at your own monitor, and wondering why i don't just get up and walk away and do something else as i clearly have options. and i wish i could tell you that it's that easy to just get up. but i'm not kidding when i say that my butt gets planted. it's like a magnet. i have so far gotten up to wash my hands 3 times (not consecutively), check on the pork ribs, take the pork ribs out, got pork ribs twice (thanks father!), and then got a cup of water (hot, even in hot weather because that is how i like it). and every time i could go somewhere else, but i don't. and now i'm thinking how ridiculous it i am that i can come home and get parked on the couch or on the bed or on this very uncomfortable chair in my mother's office (better monitor for watching mike gillis than my laptop) and if my mother were home tonight she would've booted me off by now so she could "work" (while playing freecell and watching a streaming asian movie online) and i wouldn't be here anymore so i would have had to park somewhere else. but i was going to say that i am ridiculous for being so ... i don't even know what the word is. but why can't i relocate? i need to figure out how to do more than one thing when i get home after work. this doesn't happen if i go out because there's no settling into one place for several hours before bedtime. it's just when i get home right after work and i have no plans. usually i'm on the couch and catching up with my shows (being able to record tv is the best thing that ever happened to me - i'm not even joking). i need to do something. i need to experiment. i need to move from here to another location in my house and not come back!


***20 minutes later, i am still here. wtf. ok, really, i'm getting up now. up Up and AWAY!

and sometimes, the good guy wins

earlier this week, my stalker quit and walked out. and as king michael sang so eloquently, she's out of my life, and i couldn't be more pleased! i didn't know how much it bothered me until i knew she was gone - and it was like this huge weight off my shoulders. because the thing is, i like work. i like coming to work, i like my job, i have friends here, and work isn't that bad. and for awhile, i was a little more negative about work. i would wake up some mornings and just dread the idea of having to go into the office. and there were days when i'd get here and when i went to go make the coffee, my morning quiet was broken by the sound of her obnoxious voice and her ignorant comments. and while i'm sure most people have a person at their work who can be annoying, i'm also pretty sure that said annoying person(s) didn't steal your name and lie about a relationship with your brother. so stalker freak hasn't been performing to par - how could she when she was never in her office, never picked up calls, rarely returned calls, and spent more time outside smoking or in the lunch room being rude? (and when she was in her office, she was on facebook - so productive.) as her life unravelled (from what i gather she had to get a divorce from her common-law, take advantage of unsuspecting insurance agents to get gifts and rides, and had no friends), i was here being unhappy because of her presence on a daily basis. plus, i had to constantly hold back the urge to tell her that LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS! and i have to say, now that she is out of a job, out of love, and out of my life, i feel really really good about it. f being the bigger person, i am glad that her life sucks. [and i think it was pretty big of me to not punch her in the throat every time i saw her.]

in addition to this awesomeness, canada day fell midweek so we had a nice little day off. i got to spend it eating with friends and sharing many laughs. i like days like that. i like my friends.

and since things do happen in 3s, i am happy to declare today as 200 Days Sober day. there were a lot of 'days' in that sentence, but i don't care. i am happy! woo woo!