And then sometimes, I go out

Last night was one of my bestests' staggette. I should say local stag since we already hit up Vegas in June. And nothing compares to Vegas. NOTHING! But we had a fantastic time last night...
After sobriety, I discovered all the things I hate about this city. And it came down to one thing: the people. In the midst of the beauty and serenity that is BC, there is this hub in the middle of the Lower Mainland where all the posers gravitate. These are the sheltered folks who don't understand that there is more to life than your circle of drug dealing friends with lots of money. There is more than having large fake breasts or long blonde hair (black if you're Asian) or ridiculously fake eyelashes and enough makeup on your face to make Steven Tyler pretty. There is more than expensive clothing, LV handbags, and Louboutin shoes. There is more than bedazzled Ed Hardy tees and fauxhawk haircuts and steroids to make your muscles big. But here is where the arrogant, self-centered, pretentious, obnoxious, trendy, hipster, yuppie, yappie types all come to "play." And let's get real here- their idea of a good time isn't throwing down, drinking too much, and having a good time. They prefer to pose on the sidelines and stare down everyone else. And when they do move, they bowl everyone else down because they think they're better. This picture is what the party scene looks like to me now. Gone are the days when I can show up in a t-shirt and just jam. Now you gotta put on your face and dress like a skank (if you can afford it, at least you can look like a classy skank), and pose for awhile in order to be accepted. But last night, we were decked out for our themed stagette night. We also had masks that made us feel like superheroes- awesome yet anonymous! Unfortunately, it was very Superman/Clark Kent because I was still recognized, but whatever, for awhile I believed in the disguise! And it felt like back in the day when I could just go out and throw down like no one's judging. Of course we hit a glitch when our bachelorette's fiance's crazy (like psycho crazy) bitch ex appeared and she tried to fight us (by try I mean she lunged and let her friends "hold her back"). But we won anyway because we had a blast, boys loved us, and we were awesome! She was just miserable and hateful and not fun to be around.
One of the great things about last night was being hit on by young boy people. It's a great feeling when a fresh-faced youngun who can't grow facial hair tells you you're pretty and asks you to dance. Especially when you say thanks, but you're too young for me and he says, "but I'm almost 20!" Because in 36 days, I'll be 30 dude. And another boy told me he wished he was 7 years older so I would give him a chance. It's a club, they're young, and just looking to party. I get that. But I can't dance with you if you can't keep up!
At the end of the night, I was crawling into bed just before 6am and wondering how I made it through without dying of exhaustion at my seasoned age (oh yes, ran into someone who called me old, said I used to be the prettiest girl in the scene, and tried to cover by saying I'm still hot, and I'm not old just seasoned-thanks pal). Today my body hurts, my head feels like I'm hungover even though I didn't drink, and I'm just so tired! I won't be doing this again anytime soon, but man, that was a good night. And here's the recipe: Special Occassion + Good Friends + 2 Whips + 10 Masks + a ton of Booze for the imbibers + 2 Free burgers (even after someone puked in the drive-thru lane) + Pole/Lap dance practice + No line/cover + a Shower to wash off the beer and tequila on my legs = Success!! Don't be jealous because I'm awesome.
On that note, I wish haters would find their own little bits of awesome instead of just hating all the time. How exhausting it must be to be a negative person.

Sent from my awesome BlackBerry

606 Days

I guess this is a good sign. Day 600 came and went, and I didn't even think about it being significant. The milestones are getting further apart. I think when I hit 7 years though, I'll go get myself a killer neck tattoo like Aldous Snow. Or something. It's become a lot easier to say no now. Mostly because I've come so far. Being past 600 days makes me really really not want to go back to 0. And after all the times I've quit and started again, I know now that social drinking is not an option. It always starts with just one. Most importantly, I've learned a lot about myself. Maybe I'm not addicted to drinking anymore. But now I'm addicted to my Blackberry. I'm addicted to TV. But these are things that won't make me feel sick, so I accept these addictions as a lesser evil. I guess this is just an update, in case you were wondering. I am 606 days sober and I feel really good about it.