Just turned 30 the other day. Doesn't feel different. But I remember it, so that's an improvement from most of my 20s. In fact, looking back, a lot of my 20s are a blur. So this decade of my life, I will be Sober, and I will remember things. Or at least, what I can with what's left of my remembering cells. 30. I tried to quit drinking the first time around... I want to say 24 but who really knows. It didn't stick until I was 28. Now I'm 30. I've been dry for almost 2 years. A huge change is that I'm weepy now. Maybe that's Sobriety, maybe it's my old lady hormones. Except that 30 isn't old. I don't feel old. But I feel weepy. Things make me cry that didn't before. TV or movie moments that are poignant for the family onscreen. Saying good-bye. Other people crying. Situations that remind me of something emotional in my life- even if I wasn't able to show emotion when it happened. Now I really feel all those formerly suppressed feelings. Is it Sobriety or is it 30? Who knows... But I think I like this Me. Definitely an improvement over crazy drunk angry Me.
At the time of this posting, my grampa is in the hospital again. The doctors told my uncle something cryptic about it not looking good and tell family members. I hold onto the hope that I will see him when I go in 2 weeks. I will stay positive and stop being all weepy about it. I will see him in 2 weeks. And I will tell him I'm 30 now and thank him for being my best friend when I was 3. 30 is going to be a good year.
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