I Like Friends

*Sidebar: Dreams about cheating on your SO usually signifies guilt in life - usually completely unrelated to your relationship. Cut someone off on the highway? Undertipped your server? Gave yourself a five finger discount at the store? Maybe something more serious, but you gotta deal with it. DEAL WITH YOUR GUILT!

i think people have friendships or they have relationships. and it starts early on, you make a choice. i've lost a few people who turned out to be relationship people. i was here when they were heart broken and busted up. i was here when they wanted to go out and have a good time and meet new people. i was here when they met the next person they were going to ditch me for. and i'm still here and i have friends and my life doesn't suck. and where are they now? still consumed by their relationship, whoever they may be with now. and the friends they have aren't real friends. they won't tell you if you've drawn your eyebrows on crooked. they won't tell you that that color looks awful on your skin tone. they won't tell you that those shoes do not look good with that shirt (hell, the truth is you shouldn't have bought those shoes at all). the false friends will never give you bad news, especially about yourself, because you're all so unsure about how secure this friendship really is. how much it could and couldn't survive. but you can't risk it because without these false friendships, you got nothing. no one. except your relationship. and that sucks. not because the relationship sucks, but because a healthy relationship means you still have friends and a life of your own - an identity.

and then there are friend people. friend people have had some of the same friends forever, yet still have the ability to make new friends in life. and yes, friends come and go and you don't have time for everybody, but at least you know that you can always count on your friend person. they're solid. even when they're in a relationship, they will drop whatever is going on and be there for you when you need it because you still matter. when they tell you that they love the dress you're wearing and you look great it in, they really mean it. they won't invite their SO when you specify you need a girls' night because they know that sometimes you just need a girls' night. or if they're boy people, they'll remember to invite you on boys' night even though you're a girl because you're not a girlfriend but you're part of the group and it's more fun when you're all together like old times. friend people will never lie to you even if it hurts you. they won't forget about you just because they're in a relationship that makes them happy (in fact, they'll want their SO to get to know you). they will be there in dark times and good. friend people are good people.

i guess what brought this on was the recent conversations i've been having with my girlfriends about all these people that we've lost along the way. all these people who chose something else over you and never looked back. or looked back too late. all these people who constantly put themselves first and never see how they're doing something wrong in a friendship. and sometimes i feel sadness that some people aren't in my life anymore because they turned out to be sucky people. but for the most part i'm grateful that they aren't really around to bring me down anymore and i'm so grateful to the friends who have stuck around and supported me and believed in me.

i always say i don't need a boyfriend and it's true. because if i'm going to end up with someone and he's supposed to be my best friend and life partner and someone i want to have sex with on a regular basis until we're old, he's got really high standards to meet and a first class group of people he has to become on par with. that's going to be really really hard and if he's out there looking for me, i wish him luck because i know it won't be easy. and i'm so glad i love me enough to be okay with being by myself forever. plus, i have friends who'll be around forever. i'm lucky. and i know it. and friends, thanks. i value your friendship.